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Imagine you are just about to go onstage to speak before a huge crowd of people and you are unexpectedly handed a slip of paper with three words on it, and those three words say:
I AM INVINCIBLE.
Now imagine those three words say:
I AM INVISIBLE.
Which situation produces the better outcome for your speech? Is there any doubt? :)
Language is power. What we tell ourselves has a profound effect on any outcome. We hand ourselves metaphorical slips of paper just like that all the time.
The interplay between our subconscious thoughts, our conscious minds and our actions is endless and constant. Did you know that our subconscious mind never sleeps? Much like a computer program, it is constantly running beneath the surface of everything we think and everything we do. It's pretty amazing. Our subconscious minds hold our belief systems, our memories, our experiences, our dreams, desires, our imaginings, and has been doing so every day since the day we are born. Possibly even before we are born. Endlessly taking it all in, allowing our conscious minds to glimpse and process only a mere fraction of all of that data.
What if you could get right down in there into the nuts and bolts of how and what you think about certain things? What if you could communicate directly with this part of yourself and actually change the way you think about something for real, something that is not working for you?
This is essentially what hypnosis is. It is not a supernatural or a mystical thing at all, is is actually something we all do much the time without realizing it. But sometimes these things/impressions/perceptions that are making their way very deeply into us, are not necessarily the most helpful ones we could choose. In hypnosis; we get to choose. So if decide we wish to feel invincible; this is how we will feel. Yes, it is that simple.
After life long dabbling as an amateur hypnotist, I have begun my formal study of the subject and am on a journey to Master Certification in Hypnosis. And what a journey it has been so far. The discovering has been incredible. I am so excited to share what I have been learning with others. There are miles to go and so many more things to discover. Thank you for visiting my website and this blog. I will keep adding to it, so please; you keep on checking back!
If you've read my bio page you will see that I make a connection between creating a character for a play or film and hypnosis.
Most wouldn't find much connection between these two things at all!
However, I do. And I'll share with you why.
As an actor; how do you make a written sentence from a script come alive? Anyone can read a sentence out loud, that takes no special skill. The skill behind it is manifested by the intent from which the actor speaks it And the intent in which the actor speaks it, comes from what it is that actor has decided that the character in the play wants. Not necessarily what the character in the play states they want, if asked, but what the character really wants deep down inside, overall.
In my study of hypnosis at times I have been transported back to my very early study of acting and basic script analysis. I think it is because the subconscious mind in people operates so very much like an actor tackling a script with ideas, metaphors and making connections. As an actor, before you ever get on stage or in front of a camera, you must lay down an entire world view, a belief system and the hopes and dreams and memories of the character you will be playing. The audience may never even know all these decisions, but the actor knowing these things will answer all the questions for him or herself about why the character behaves as they do in the course of the story. Now, of course, the lines are all spoken because they are written in the script, but the good actors make sense of every one. They create logic for the character to naturally speak these words. They may be telling the truth as the character or lying as the character to get what is wanted (or every/any area of grey in between that), but all of the words and sentences and their subsequent actions have to make sense. And when a good actor does their homework, they make sure it is going to make sense because they know, overall, what it is their character wants to achieve, who this person is.
So you start with words on a page and the bad actors, well, they just say the words out loud.
The actors we all love, the talented ones, they naturally inhabit their character and everything they say and do is completely believable because they have taken the time to know who the person they are playing really is at the deepest level all the way up. And they know because they are the ones who have created this being.
They have created a subconscious for their person, a foundation. And everything else
(everything they say and everything they do) exists on top of this foundation.
And so, therefore; if one has studied character development on this level, one understands these building blocks.
Some things in life are so very simple, but if never examined, they seem so involved and complicated beyond belief. We ALL want something in life. Many things, in most cases. We want love, we want respect, we want to feel secure, we want to feel intelligent and relied upon and useful.
But these things we want-they get slippery. Wanting respect from people, over time, can morph into, say; wanting to control everything, or some equally impossible desire. Life is messy and complicated and what we thought we wanted can even change up on us. Or so we think. Often it's merely been buried, replaced by things that aren't the same. Substitutes.
Sometimes it is truly worth going back to the home page, the foundation, our subconscious. Things there are often quite simple.
So if you come to me and you tell me what is going in in your life, and why it is a problem, I am going to be looking at you much like you are a character in a story and I am going to be able to tell where this thing, this thing that conflicts you, begins. Then, together, we are going to be able to get into your foundation and change it up. Get back to the basic first thing that life maybe has twisted up. Unlike long term therapy, we are going to be able to find where things have gotten off course and turn it around quickly. Not with nonsense and mumbo jumbo; but an adjustment in that subconscious, your foundation. Without the judgement of others or our conscience selves interfering.
Say you want to be fit but you overeat, and feel you can't stop. So I would probably ask you about how you experience food. I am going to find out if you even enjoy it. And maybe you tell me that when you were a kid, cupcakes were a special treat, a reward every time you did something good in your parents eyes, and every bite was heaven both because it tasted good and also because you felt happy at the time to get a treat that you earned. But over the years, something got lost in translation (as things often do) and now you eat and eat, yet it never feels like those cupcakes once did. Maybe you even eat the very same type of cupcake, but still.....even 6 in, even after demolishing an entire box, no waves of good feelings are passing over you, and you don't feel full.. You just keep wanting more. Then you hate yourself. And it spills over into everything else in your life. You feel out of control and unhealthy. And every time you do, you reach for more food.
I am sure it is not hard to see where this is going.
You need to re-experience that heavenly bite once again and remember it once didn't take 6 cupcakes to fill you up or make you happy -there was a time when one was enough. We can go back to a day where you were rewarded, and you can once again remember how it felt. You can feel that again with every sense.. sight, texture, taste, smell- even the sound and feel of the wrapper being pulled off.
And you can bring that pleasure and joy from then to remain with you now. So next time you are hungry or sad even, you will reach for something and enjoy every bite, savor it truly, and move on. You will be satisfied from it. You will be filled up.
It's not magic. It's not even complicated. It's about examining and many times re-experiencing things from long ago to reboot you for the now.
Sometimes it is about revisiting less than pleasurable things from your life in order for your adult self to offer the perspective you did not yet have as a child or a young person. This is where a lot of fears that can affect us our whole lives often begin. This can be changed up for the better too. I am not saying this is easy, but I can unequivocally state that it is not complicated.
Nothing in our lives will really change unless something in our foundation is shifted. Sometimes, often, even just slightly. But going back to that actor studying a script I referenced at the beginning of this entry; unless we study ourselves and our motivations like that actor delving into a character, we will not know what it is that needs to change. We may think we do ( ie: "I have to eat less"), but conscious willpower will only take us so far if our subconscious is not on-board also. This is the beauty of hypnosis. This is the beauty of having a say in the things that lie deeply buried within us and affect our actions.
I am asked by so many people how many sessions will it take to solve an issue and this is a question worth exploring in a little more depth because there is no "one size fits all" answer. And it is interesting to explore why this is.
There are many misconceptions about hypnosis out there, and the biggest one might be that it is some sort of magic, a silver bullet to immediately "fix" a problem.
And on one level, this is actually partially correct. It is almost magical when the realization hits just how powerful your very own mind really is. Most of us may already think this, but when you come to the point where you KNOW it, in your gut, it is an almost supernatural kind of feeling. But, like all power, it must be used responsibly and this is where time comes into the picture. Because it takes time to really understand just how to harness it. When you realize that it has only ever been your own self that is responsible for all the happiness you feel, the pain you feel, the longing you feel, the dread, the terror, the joy, the contentment, all the myriad of emotions that we all experience every day, you can get filled up with the tremendous nature of this concept. That you are actually in charge of this. It was never about things that happened to you, it was always only ever about the perception you attached to these things that happened to you, creating an emotional response..
When you get this, KNOW this, you then realize that you must retrain your mind to think differently on all levels of consciousness. And sometimes, this does take time.
All a hypnotist can do is assist you with seeing that this doorway exists. It is still up to you to cross the threshold, and explore what awaits you beyond.
If you wish to experience the unique state of mind a hypnosis session can bring you, one time will do that. I can and will teach you how to get yourself back to this same place on your own. A quiet place where you will become so amazingly focused on just existing that all the conflicts, fears and to -do lists, will be blissfully silenced for a time! Literally you will be able to reach a place in yourself you probably forgot was even there. This is in of itself incredibly useful. Modern life certainly does not lend itself to this state of being, it is not encouraged or generally practiced. But try it once, and you may well discover a version of a mini vacation that you can take every day without incurring credit card debt or having to pack a suitcase!
If you are seeking hypnosis to solve a specific issue or problem, more than one session may be necessary.
Again, I will use the exercise/personal fitness trainer metaphor, as it seems the most apt. One session at the gym with a personal trainer will not get you in shape. This we know. But some people will use that one session and go home and recreate the exercise plan they learned from it, and they will be on their way.
Some people may have to go back for additional training sessions and then once all is firmly ensconced, then go it alone. Some people may never be able to do these things on their own, they, for whatever reason, need the motivation to come from someone they are, in essence, hiring to motivate them. Everything depends upon the level of commitment you have to do what you want to do.
Many people do quit smoking or establish a way to stop overeating in just one session. Very do-able and not unusual. In a session with me, we can and will talk about where you stand on the continuum of commitment, as this is the most decisive factor as to how long or how many sessions anything will take to do..
What I can promise you is that I will never encourage multiple sessions if they are unnecessary. My business model is of mutual profit. Yes I said it!
Too many people out there believe profit can only ever be a one way street. I am of the mind that success is determined from things way bigger than making a buck. I wish to help my clients and also learn from my clients. Since this is my way of earning a living, I will need to charge a fee for this, but the day I suggest a client return for more, when it is not necessary or beneficial to a client, is the day I will hang up my "pocket watch" and find another career. And I don't believe that day will come. I love the positive change I can help create in people too much. (Please note: I don't actually use a pocket watch, though I can if you want!)
So much in our world revolves around monetary profit and there are plenty of hypnotists (and doctors and lawyers and lawn-care consultants and makeup counter sales people, etc.) out there who will gladly take your money and keep on taking it with no thought given to anything beyond that. It is my hope that as I continue to grow my own business and work with more and more people, my own deeply held beliefs about mutual profit will be apparent and will separate me from those who seek only to sell to you without regard for what it is you are buying.
How do we know the subconscious really exists and is in constant action? If you look for examples in your life, you will see it.
The other day I found myself out driving and having to stop short. Automatically my right arm flew up in front of the empty passenger seat next to me, as though to keep an invisible passenger from flying forward.
I found myself thinking about this.
I grew up back in the time before all the back-seat-rear-facing-child-car -seats and I remember always clamoring to get into the front seat whenever my family took a drive. Truly I am not even sure we used our seat belts either (times were different :) ! So, more than once I saw my parents do exactly what I did the other day.
So this action: stopping short, arm flying out to help restrain the passenger, was etched into my subconscious, for as long as I can remember. And I still do it today, even if my passenger is wearing the seatbelt, or even if no one is in the seat! It makes no logical sense really, but there you have it, that automatic response that comes from something.
And we know what that something is.
Have you ever heard a song or caught a tendril of a fragrance, that immediately catapulted you back to a former time in your life, a time you never would consciously have remembered? This happens to all of us, as though we have suddenly hopped in a time machine. This, too is that subconscious in action again. A long buried memory, an old dusty file suddenly there on our metaphorical “desktop”, and we’ve just clicked it open ..
Or for days you are trying to remember a name, a title, a tune and then as soon as you stop trying to remember it; it floats in front of you and lands right on your tongue?
So much of what we are, is a combination of our memories and experiences, though we aren’t able to consciously process all of them, every moment.
But they exist.
And sometimes; they harm us. Or limit us. Hold us back. Keep us glued to bad habits, keep us from contentment, from joy, from success. .
Now none of us can change the past. But we can change our perspective of the past. But we need to know where and how to look. And not all of this can really be done on the surface where consciousness and logic rule.
Sometimes we have to get into the murky place where an event has gotten linked to an emotion. On a level too deep to clearly see.
Consciously, for instance, we all know the statistics of airplane travel being safer than a car. But for someone who subconsciously has airplane travel linked to fear is going to have a hard time overriding the fear to take in the logical facts. For the logical facts to help them.
It took me such a long time to truly understand a basic concept of subconsciousness. This is:
“The subconscious does not distinguish between fantasy and reality” It accepts all things as real things.
It is our logical mind that evaluates data and chooses what are facts and what are fancies.
The subconscious just takes things in, it makes no evaluatory judgments.
This is actually what allows us to enjoy the greatest gift of being human; our ability to imagine.
I am beginning to think that, in life for us, our imaginations are both our greatest strength and our greatest weakness. A total paradox.
Human imagination has lead to the creation of things of breathtaking beauty.
And also created bloodbaths and suffering beyond comprehension.
And everything in between.
This goes for us as a species and us as individuals.
What have you created with your imagination, with “art supplies” taken directly from your vast subconscious, boxes and boxes of unremembered memories? I bet there is no one out there who would answer this question with the word “Nothing” .
We all do it, all the time, whether we label it as such or not.
So in a therapeutic sense for change to take place, all we must do is logically, with consciousness decide to change it. From smoking to insomnia, to terror of open spaces, for weight loss, for getting over the insidious shaking that happens before giving a public presentation, for literally; anything that is doing us harm rather than good!
This is the first thing.
The second thing is to harness our own remarkable powers of imagination to see a future without this or that obstacle. Touch it, taste it, smell it, hear it, see it. Feel it. This is what engages our subconscious and allows the desire to change to lead to actual change.
And no; we will never solve all of our own problems.
Conflict and rising above things and accomplishing things even though we are terrified is part of what makes us all pretty interesting.
But just because one can't change everything doesn't mean one shouldn’t attempt to change some things.
You know what it is you really want to do. And if you are thinking about things such as making changes and looking into Hypnosis for it, not only are you SMART; you are already halfway there!
Well it has been quite a time! I do hope everyone had a Happy and Healthy Thanksgiving, I sure did, and I find myself enjoying this holiday season more than usual. I have been seeing lots of clients and every time I do, I just keep on learning and more. Experience really is the best teacher and my work has been so unbelievably gratifying!
It is never too late to make a change in your life. If anyone reading this thinks so; it is time to rethink that. The human mind is always ready for change as long as it functions. Bad habits can be transformed into good ones. Creative blocks can be unblocked. Old fears can melt away like an Autumn snowfall. There are always new paths to travel.
I don’t mean to sound like a motivational speaker, I realize I might. I don’t think there is a “one size fits all” solution to motivate anyone, the way many actual motivational speakers do. I think it is very individualized, what rings the right bell for a person or what metaphor will cast the right light on a matter for someone. People will make changes when the desire for change becomes greater that the desire to hold on to something. And this is where inspiration comes in. Very personal inspiration for a very specific change. Not just a generic, in general “change”.
You have to be able to see and feel the change, see and feel what it will bring you, be excited for it, reach for it.
A person must be inspired into desiring change.
Most of us tend to just focus on “how hard it will be”, but think about this for a moment. Things are not hard when you know for sure what you want, and you want it bad. How many of us, for instance, want to lose 5 pounds? Well, sure, that is specific enough desire isn’t it? No it is really not. It’s a drag. It seems impossible. Wearying, all the things you’ll have to “give up”, and you are already hungry right now, just thinking about it. But replace the phrase in your mind of "wanting to lose 5 pounds" with an image you can almost touch of yourself weighing less, wearing a dress of your dreams or tightening up your belt a few notches and smiling like your face will break… And suddenly, the idea no longer tires you out, now the idea catches fire. And it becomes easy to do the next steps. You have replaced what you are “giving up” with what you are GETTING.
Sometimes you can do this for yourself.
Sometimes Hypnosis can really help. When you make a choice to give the time to any endeavor, set aside special time to go inward and really explore a small wish and turn that into a monumental need, you have crossed into the land of transformation. Having that small wish turn into immense desire all the way down deep in your subconscious increases its power over you like nothing else!
I bet everything you ever have accomplished in your life, if you trace it back to where it started, you will see that it only happened because you became inspired enough to do it.
You didn’t just say to yourself; “I want to start my own business”. You envisioned the finished fantasy version of it, and that’s what really allowed it to happen. Even if you don’t think this is so, if you dig deep enough you can trace it back to your subconscious mind. Maybe you just felt you wanted to help people or make a product or maybe you just wanted to leave the job you were in but didn’t know how exactly you would do this. Then because you were tuned into it, the specifics started revealing themselves to you. Sparking more and more ideas that excited you and this is when you began to take the steps to make it happen for real. When you could see it so clearly, you could feel it. Saying you want to do something and finding the true inspiration to do it, remain two different things.
Look around you.
Every single thing you see; someone made it happen. It came from somewhere. Most likely a dream, either a waking dream or sleeping dream, doesn’t matter. More than likely a dream that unfolded because all the doubts and obstacles consciousness puts out there were quieted down enough to let it unfold.
It is in that silence of consciousness,
the realm of the subconscious,
that inspiration is born.
And with the right inspiration, anything is possible.
Well one month into a brand new year, I’ve barely had time to write but the musings going on in my mind have sure not stopped! As this winter has taken us into the single digit temps I decided to try an experiment . I wanted to see if I could quickly warm myself up using only self hypnosis. I wanted to see if it was possible to do a long walk to my parked car, without abject misery, on a 5 degree night. I was sure it was doable, though I had never tried it. And just like everything I have found with respect to hypnosis, once the right state of mind is achieved; it is easy! Yes there I was in 5 degrees, wind chill very possibly below 0 degrees, strolling comfortably towards my car. Not shivering, not cursing, not wishing I was encased in a climate controlled spacesuit, just me strolling comfortably, getting into a deep freezer known as a parked car, and calmly awaiting the engine to warm up! For any of you imagining me walking like a “hypnotised zombie” , nothing could be further from the truth. I could have easily held a conversation with someone else and that person would not have known in my mind I was experiencing a lovely 75 degree evening, rather than the actual bitter hell of a 2013/2014 winter night.
How did I do it? How could you?
It’s all about what you tell yourself. It’s all about how you hold yourself. It is all about what you decide to imagine. But mostly, for everyday things; we don’t take any time to do any of this. I know I don’t usually, there’s always so much else going on, so many tasks to organize in one’s head, so many past conversations to re-live and re-think. So much stuff all the time to occupy oneself, that something like 5 degree weather is just going to be a sudden assault on one’s senses, when one steps out a door. An unwelcome interruption in the mind’s endless monologue.
Did I have to go into some deep trance first for my experiment? No. All I had to do was take the few moments to remember a time when I was warm and comfortable.
And let myself feel that with as many of my senses as possible. And to then hold that in my mind as I stepped out into the cold. Instead of the normal body tightening up and expletives describing the cold spewing out of my mouth, I relaxed and allowed myself to sink even deeper into my warm memory, and refused to acknowledge the actual temperature.
It’s all about deciding to do this. Deciding to change your response to something unpleasant with something positive. What is so amazing is how easily your body will just listen and go right in the direction you have chosen.
Here’s a fun experiment you can try right now.
Hunch your shoulders down, let your body cave in, feel like there is a weight on your back, imagine your limbs achey and stiff, pretend you have been living for 100 years.
Walk slowly around like that for 5 minutes.
Ok, so now: how old do you feel? How tired? How over it? Right.
Now….let it go. Shake it off. Stand up straight and tall, let your shoulders open up wide and strong. Smile. Plaster a big smile on your face. Yes, really, just do it. Walk, or better yet, skip, happily around the room. Do this for 5 minutes.
Note the difference. Note how much better you now feel. Note that your big fake smile eventually turned into a real one. Note that anyone who says there is no connection between body and mind is lying!
I can’t say that it would always be quite this easy because so many things take a toll on our bodies and our minds.
If you have been depressed for a long time, just throwing back your shoulders and smiling is not going to be enough at first, granted.
But please know; the more you open up these avenues, the more your your healing can begin. The more you practice using your very own imagination to influence body and mind the more effective it becomes. And if you find ways to get a good feeling all in and through your body , the mind begins to follow. And if you get a good feeling all in and through your mind, the body begins to follow. It is a perfect circle, the body follows the mind and the mind follows the body. And who is in charge of these things? We are! Always.
Just something to think about…..
On one of my certification tests, one of the questions asked:
What is the most important tool in a hypnotist's “tool box”?
There were four possible answers.
All of them are beyond important. All of them are necessary. But which is the most important?
Without a doubt. Above all else. My wonderful teacher instilled this in me and I remain every day in full agreement.
But how would a potential client know this? How does anyone seeking help for anything know the person they choose is trustworthy? Especially a hypnotist. I invite you or anyone out there considering visiting a hypnotist to trust their gut. Your “gut” is your subconscious and it knows. You must listen to it. And do your homework. If you are unsure; get referrals. Talk to other people who have worked with this person. For any therapist of any kind, if they won’t offer referrals that can be verified: Run.
What does having integrity as a hypnotist really mean?
It is possible that this would be answered differently by different people and I can only speak for myself.
To me, it means to always have my client’s absolute best interests at the forefront.
To give my undivided focus to each and every person I work with. I will be thinking deeply and completely about what it is you need.
To go above and beyond in the preparation and execution of each and every session.
To never just “coast”.
To hold all client interactions in complete confidence.
And lastly, but most importantly; no matter how much resistance might be displayed, I will always believe in my clients ability to overcome anything they desire to, even if they, at that time, can not.
No one is ever going to be a “lost cause” with me. There are always positive benefits to gain and I will see to it that they are gained.
If you are in a rut, call me.
If you are in need of rebooting, transforming, welcoming a new version of yourself or shedding an old skin; call me.
If you want to understand your own behavior better; call me.
If you need someone to listen, someone who will not judge; call me.
I will offer all I can to you, at my highest level of integrity and purpose.
These are the the promises I make to all of you. These are the promises that I have made to myself as to my treatment of anyone who reaches out to me.
Bombardment. This is on my mind lately. The swirling tornado of imagery, advertisement, updates, news flashes, texts, emails, articles, website links, sorrows, celebrations, that we exist in the middle of every day.
Our collective virtual plethorum of stuff that BOMBARDS us pretty much 24/7.
It is an assault on the senses. I guess every period in history has it’s unique challenges, and this would be ours.
Do you feel like some days; your thoughts aren’t even your own?
Do you ever wonder if, in a sense, we are all somewhat under hypnosis all the time?
Oh the things we have gathered around over time, to stare at and glean from.
At least the first 3, we used to do in the company of others, mostly.
Now we stare at these little rectangles in our hands.
And we are hypnotized.
I have heard the theory floated that modern Hypnotherapy is actually a way to become un- hypnotized, because in some ways we have actually become the zombies we joke about and secretly fear.
Wonder why we are always buying things we don't need?
Constantly trying diets that don't work? Eating certain foods that offer us nothing? Why we are “asking our doctors” about this drug or that? Living in terror of driving the wrong car or wearing the wrong style? Going to the wrong school, choosing the wrong career? The wrong life?
Why we diagnose ourselves as addicts, and bi polars, and our kids have ADD, and we probably have this condition, or that and we should try this method, or listen to that guru... and I could go on. But I know you know what I am talking about.
It was a revelation to me back in 9th grade, in a social studies class, a lesson about advertising and how the very first two rules are (were, and remain)
1) Instill Fear
2) Show solution; give the FIX.
And nothing has or will change in regards to that.
It makes perfect sense. On some level we’ve always known that FEAR is an instant induction into a state of hypnosis.
Oh and it is.
So we live in a kind of constant state of just-below-the-surface fear, therefore constantly searching for solutions. And there is no shortage of expensive solutions being offered. Everything we stare in trance at at nowadays; our phones, our computer screens, a little less now maybe; our tvs ….(and for my dad; the radio), offers the fixes….
Somedays I have to remind myself: NO FIXING!I have to remind myself that maybe my life does not need fixing as much as I have come to believe. Allowed myself to believe. Been bombarded and hypnotized into believing.
And it is with this in mind that I never allow myself to impose any idea I may hold of “ the right fix” on a client.
I let my clients tell me. Not what will "fix" them, exactly, but what really needs to happen/shift/be revealed for them to thrive. To get what they want.
Even if they think they don’t know, they DO.
They practically scream it out at me, in between the lines.
Sometimes even what they don't say or won’t say.
They tell me in metaphors, in word choices, in the order in which they recall an event. How they describe the conflict. How they paint a dream.
They tell me by their body language, their gestures, their eye movements. Even the ease in which they do or don't make an appointment with me. Even the questions they ask me.
It all tells me what it is that they really need.
What they need unique to them.
No “one size fits all” here.
And yes, it is the language of their subconscious I listen to, as it is often very wise.
And I also have to listen to what they say to me consciously, also wise too.
The right path for them lies in finding the harmony between these two realms.
All of us bombarded all the time with plethorum. Hundreds of paths to choose, steps to take, every second practically of every day.
But we always know, deep down inside, when we really are focused on the right thing or things for each of us.
If Hypnosis is actually a highly focused state (which I do believe it is), then it is my greatest wish to be able to help people find the state that sings out in truth for them alone. No bombardment from outside, just seeds growing into flower from within.
That original and unique pathway our own selves want us to create and follow.
*******May 5, 2014*******
As many of you may know, my partner of 15 years passed away suddenly on Saturday, April 26, 2014. This is the blog entry I had been working on and literally just completed moments before I got the call to tell me what had happened. I could not make this fact up if I tried.
I post it here now, below, in the hopes that what it says it may truly reach some of you reading, as it is now resonating in ways for me personally that I never could have dreamed of when these words first were written:
Do you remember the last time you almost busted a gut laughing?
Laughed so hard that tears ran down your face?
Can you recall a sight you saw or a moment you shared with someone that took your breath away and changed your whole world forever?
If asked, could you envision a memory when you triumphed over an obstacle and were so proud of yourself that your feet felt like they just lifted right off the ground?
I know you can!
Conversely, can you call up a time when you were without hope?
Or a time when a tragedy occurred that you felt powerless to defend against?
Can you remember a time when you cried so hard your body hurt?
Can you see faces looking at you all wrong, and remember the horror and shame you felt at those gazes?
Yes, I know you can do that too. It’s part of being alive.
All of these extreme memories remain inside ourselves, and all the ones in between too.
So what are they for?
Why do we have memories at all? Why can’t we move through life without them?
Why is it that we often fail to realize that memories are our resources?
The great memories are the most precious resources we could ever have.
By resources, I mean; wonderful memories can DO something concretely for us now. We can use them to make our lives better in just about every way.
So often we use negative memories to make our lives worse, wouldn't you say?
Those negative memories, seems like we have no problem recalling them in every detail over and over again, right?
What we were wearing when “it” happened, how the sky looked that day, the terrible pit in our stomach, the way we took to our bed and could barely get up. All those little details of some awful thing, that, unbidden, rises up to trip us now again and again.
It could be a memory from years ago, childhood, or more recent. Anything that deeply affected us negatively.
Those get played out for us again and again. Oh and they have an effect. Don’t think they don’t.
And we don’t even question why it is that we are using those things as a “resource”.
Why we let them overcome us and fill us up with their negative power.
Why do we not choose to let the good time memories be the ones that keep resurrecting? How much good could we make happen if that were the case?
And THIS is why I love Hypnosis! This is why I love to do what I am doing.
Unlike a lot of other types of therapy, in hypnosis, we get to resurrect the good times and re-live the pleasure they brought. We get to focus on laughter and satisfaction, Happiness and confidence. We get to dive into the good stuff!
And every single person reading this has that good stuff available to them right now. We all already know what these things feel like!
Hypnosis is about the future more than the past. But a better future often does lie in using those powerful recollections of the highest moments in our lives as a bridge to that future.
How can we expect to be, say, “confident” , when we aren’t truly remembering what confidence even feels like? When that feeling has gotten buried by the lack of confidence we are more familiar with feeling? And this is only one example!
In hypnotherapy sessions, we might talk about the past some, but we only do so to open the door to a more rewarding present and future. The present and the future are all that really matter. And the human mind IS amazing what it will start to do. Subconsciously and consciously, the more you practice accessing your own treasure trove of good memories, and the positive emotions they resurrect, the more automatic it becomes for them to fill you up with their powerful light.
When you are filled up and overflowing with that light; incredible things happen.
Those amazing feelings that you already earned become a bridge to the future. A future where you can have or do anything you wish. Stop the bad habits, be more content, perform better, feel less constricted, less afraid, be excited, be inspired, overcome something with grace…..anything.....the list is endless.
My job as a hypnotherapist is only to help you deploy what is already within you to build a bridge to your transformed future. Use what you to have to aim it right at what you want to get!
It is good to be back to my practice. Though the circumstances were far from ideal, it has been a time of real personal growth for me, and I feel that quite a bit of it will also be of great benefit to my clients. I had two choices; I could let the loss of my partner do me in, or I could let it be an opportunity for higher knowledge and expansion. Pretty sure there was never an option for a middle ground.
I chose expansion. I am glad that I did.
I had a good talk with someone today who asked me about what I do. What I actually do. I do not psychoanalyze people. Sometimes knowing why you do what you do, does not change the behavior. Sometimes too much focus on a particular problem or issue can actually reinforce it. Things do need to be acknowledged and understood to a degree, no doubt. It is not about ignoring what may be negative. But it is a perspective shift on the entire issue that will allow a person the most growth. So what does help? How do we get that to happen? As I have said before “People will make changes when the desire for change becomes greater that the desire to hold on to something. And this is where inspiration comes in.” A complete perspective shift on what is going on deep inside the subconscious and all the way up from that.
It always comes back to the transformative magic of being suitably INSPIRED, for any shift in perspective to take place. This is the singular and most effective way to make a positive change in any aspect of life.
So how do I know what will be the right way to inspire someone? I know by mostly just LISTENING to people. Usually what they really want - the thing that they truly desire, they find the way to tell me, in some way. And they also usually know how they want to do it. Often this is information is located, of course, in their subconscious. But it finds ways to make itself known.
My job as a hypnotherapist is to listen very hard to to what is said. And what is not said. You, the client, tell me your story and I figure out a bridge to the solution, based on you. When we meet in person for our session, I work with you in a completely individualized and tailored way. Never based on anyone else, only on you. Everyone is very unique and I honor that. This is why I only work with clients one at a time. I do not do group Hypnosis.
The effectiveness of Hypnosis and it's therapeutic value can not be discounted. And it is more often than not; a fun thing to do! It is not often that any of us go in for self improvement and find joy.
And that is a shame.
Because if you think about it; why not?
Why must it be a grim undertaking? Why can’t it be fun? Transformation of ourselves is one of the most spectacular, wonderful and meaningful things that we can do as human beings, and we are all capable of doing it. All of us. And once we have made the changes we desire, we can then, by example, help to inspire others.
And that is pure joy right there!
Hello again. I am writing today, exactly 26 days into 2015, wondering how those New Years Resolutions are going for you?
Many of you may be wondering the same thing, yes?
Well, no worries. I am here to tell you that, in general, New Years Resolutions don’t work.
And I will tell you why, although you already know.
Because it is actually quite arbitrary, a “New Year’s Resolution”. Because it is just “A Thing To Do” or even “A Thing To Say You Will Do” Something linked to a vague idea of a new year starting fresh, so it seems like a good idea. But unless your resolution gets linked in some way to something deeper than a calendar day, there is no real power source for the “resolution” to keep going. Let’s face it, New years begin after a good month of parties, stress, disruption of schedules, etc. Come January 1 most people just want to find some structure again, and recuperate. This, too, is not working in your favor.
Momentum never really gets built for change.
The foundation isn’t there.
Also; the word “Resolution” is awful, sounds grim, dreary, all about what you think you have to give up.
And, last but not least; the order isn’t right. A date for change, because it’s a tradition and then deciding what to change? A date really can’t be the thing to lead you into some transformation. It is just not enough.
The really good news is that it is all irrelevant anyway. Because the absolute best time to find freedom from an old habit..old patterns, old thoughts...is right now. Any day of the year, any month, any time of day!
And you know it.
The absolute best day is when you really want to. And then you can look at the calendar and note the date, if you still even care about it!
And if you are here, you are thinking about something you want to change, be released from, be inspired to….fill in the blank. Or maybe even several things.
So if you are on the fence and thinking about Hypnosis as a tool, take a look at this article:
It will clear up some of your possible misconceptions about Hypnosis.
And maybe you will give me a call.
I would welcome it.
Happy New Year! Even 26 days in.
Oh Mind Things! Never a dull moment and never a lack of topics to ponder revolving the way we think. .
Happy April. The Most Painfully Exquisite Month of All!
Now April has been called “The Cruelest Month” and for me personally, I could surely believe this. But I am choosing to see it’s beauty instead.
As I have said in so many different ways from my very first blog entry here….its is all what we tell ourselves... which comes from how we look at things...the language and way we use to describes things, even to ourselves….changing our perception deep down; changes the reality. Changing the reality, changes how it makes us feel. This is not the same thing as ignoring reality!
I came across a study recently, I don’t think it is a new one, it has been put forth in various ways….
Unfortunately, for this one I did not bookmark it, so I don’t have the exact statistics….but
bear with me; because you’ll get the somewhat brilliant point just the same!
A bunch of people were asked the question: “Is it ok to smoke while you are praying?”
A huge percentage (some 90 something percent!) said “NO”.
The same people were then asked: “Is it ok to pray while smoking?”
Another huge percentage matching the above percentage, if not exceeding it, said “YES”
If this doesn’t Illustrate the amazing power of focus, content, context and language nothing does!
And I bet each person who participated in this study barely thought for a moment before they answered both questions...I bet both answers were completely spontaneous and heartfelt even though they completely contradicted each other! By utilizing a power word/concept of “praying” with all of it’s associations for each individual, an instant emotional response was triggered. . Different moral codes, different life experiences, and yet the results were the same for the majority of the participants.
So what does this have to do with Hypnosis?
Hypnosis deals with the subconscious...and it is the subconscious that holds these foundational beliefs. These phrases on how we look at everything.
People can go a lifetime without ever once examining exactly where they stand to look at anything in this world. If the right questions are asked, in the right way, to connect with unconscious thought….a shift can begin ...a step to the left or a step to the right and a new view can supersede an old one...way deep down inside. There is undeniable power in this. Because a new view, a new emotional connection, will very possibly create a new action, will very possibly change behavior. Change response. Make life better!
Change the way you look at something.
Changes the way you feel.
Change the way you feel, changes the way you behave.
We can’t consciously make ourselves feel anything. It’s just like bad acting in a play or movie, it’s flat with nothing behind it. .
All emotions are like weather. The conditions have to be the right.
The right combination of this and that leads to….this storm, or that rainbow. This happiness or that anger.
And for us, the conditions are created by the way we see things, and are changed by the reframing or renaming that takes place when we begin to question if we are really standing in the best, right place for us to see things from.
It is not ok to smoke while praying, but it is ok to pray while smoking.
“The contrary is also true” said the inimitable Groucho Marx...and yes, he was right.
Things are more than one thing.
Happy Painfully Exquisite April.
I am not sure that this post has anything at all to do with Hypnosis, but I am writing it anyway. We'll see what happens....
Everything is indeed, connected, and all actions begin with thoughts often born from emotion.
All of these aspects originate within us, many times in response to what is outside of us.
In this sense; this is about Hypnosis because Hypnosis is about the power of suggestion, after all, .
Our vast technology has changed the landscape of our interior worlds profoundly. It has given us a knowledge of events and opinions far greater than in any time in human history. And, like all knowledge, once known, it can not then be UN-known.
I’ve written before about the sense of bombardment.
Things coming at us from everywhere…
The news, the arguing, the imagery, the advertising…
There is a subworld online and outward that we’ve created and like the proverbial Frankenstein’s monster, it reaches out from our screens when our defenses are down (and even when they are not) and grabs us in a chokehold. Leaves us breathless, thoughts racing.
Mass murders most every day. Child abuse, Animal abuse, Road rage, Car accidents, Illness, stupid yet horrific crimes, list goes on…. Tragedies beyond comprehension. Name calling, opinions, anger, interspersed with photos of people’s pets or children, their lattes or casseroles, funny cartoons, videos of the perfection of nature…..animals being cute, things for sale...etc..….the constant chatter of Life in the 21st Century.
It’s DIS-EASE. The sense of not being at ease.
So much anxiety and stress. Feels like being squeezed some days. So many options...what to think, what to do, how to be, what to want, what to not want.
People haven’t changed fundamentally really in all these years spent walking upright. You can read for, instance, a play by Shakespeare and find the same basic conflicts confounding us in the 16th century. You can even discern in the Bible, written thousands of years earlier, the same essential emotions driving people.
But what has changed is our access to so much more of it than ever before. Like a magnificent and terrible telepathy that if we choose to take a visit to the cyber world, just check our email, or make a phone call, we are opening ourselves up to EVERYTHING that others are thinking and doing and buying and shooting and praying for and not praying for.
Without me unveiling any of my own personal religious/spiritual beliefs (which are irrelevant here as much as anything can be) Let me just say that as a mythological and metaphorical story, Adam and Eve sharing the apple of Knowledge and getting booted out of Paradise is somehow more blindingly accurate today than perhaps in any other time.
Is there any internal Eden left for us at all?
I think there only is when we choose to focus on it and re-create it. In any way possible.
And this very well might just be the single most best thing we can possibly do for ourselves or each other.
Create a Paradise in the midst of a screaming battle…
Carry it within.
Pull it out in the maelstrom.
Be the only non-neon sign along Life’s highway.
Like the moon maybe.
Even as I write this; I know that in the writing and posting of it, I am, in effect, lighting this road sign to neon….yet it is still worth doing. And everyone must still seek it in their own way
But if, through my work, I can help others find that place within themselves where all the chattering cacophony stops, revealing just one low voiced sound of peace, then the necessary evil of yet another neon sign can be transformed into assistance to change the world for the better.
One mind at a time.
It is all I can do for myself and all I can do for you.
I am thinking outside the box more and more these days. Which is what a good Hypnotist needs to do because, Lord knows, we already know too well what’s in the box.
And what we seek probably isn't .
It's January and I am thinking about Betrayal, Forgiveness and Redemption.
The first one is easy for humans, the second two; not so much.
And yet they are all 3 bound up together are they not?
I have had clients come to see me to find a way to move past betrayals and being that I do not have superpowers to cause the Betrayer to be struck dead, or the situation to disappear ...I have to offer them something else.
While not leading them to any path I have in mind; I can hold their hand in the dark and offer flashlight to light the map they already have in their pocket. Hypnotherapy can help one see they at least have a map...
Hmm, what is this map? What does it lead to?
A map to PEACE in their own heart about it.
Which when you are in the red hot grip of being wronged, is the hardest direction to follow "find peace".
Turn the other cheek, love the Betrayer, forgive them, understand them, understand why, this is what we are told to aim for yet ...but these can be very empty and even enraging concepts to one who is suffering hurt and betrayal. Heard at the wrong time, they beg to be flung away and rejected. Because they are the destination, not the journey..
And all too often, by rejecting them initially, we also add further self flagellation into the mix thinking there is something wrong with us, because we can't "just forgive".. We turn to drink, drugs, violence, religion, etc to please make us pretend we can actually forgive this or that jackass.
A direct command or suggestion to forgive at the wrong stage of the journey, is going to go over about as well as a big fat, expensive parking ticket on the hood of your perfectly legally parked car! NO YOU CAN NOT AND WILL NOT ACCEPT THIS!
And what do want to do, seeing that ticket there? Pay it quietly?
Yeah...No. We are pretty much all the same in this aspect. The last thing we want to do is pay that ticket meekly.
Just how much will getting that ticket play into our self narrative of “the way things are”? I am going to go ahead and say “a lot.”
Too much? Very possibly. Especially when it overrides much worthier things.
Nowadays with social media a part of most people's lives it is harder and harder not to stalk look for the betrayer online, soak in their details of how fine they seem to be...how their contemptible actions have (seemingly) not affected them even slightly.
But as Neil Young sings in one of my favorite songs ever: "There is more to the picture, than meets the eye.."
And so there is. Maybe the betrayer and the betray-ee are locked in a dance with two entirely different songs playing. Each with their rhythm, each with their own truth.
Maybe a first step on your map, is to at least see the dance floor.
Consciously, maybe you already do. Maybe you understand their motivations, even if you don't agree with them.
Subconsciously is where this feeling needs to live though. And this is the hard part.
And everyone is going to get to it a different way.
Sometimes people just need to be heard.
Sometimes people just need to understand and be understood.
Sometimes people need to zoom way out and look at it all from above, see both dancers dancing to their own music. Two warriors fighting their own wars.
There are many paths to integrate the right knowledge about a situation subconsciously, and one WILL get you where you want to go.
To a place of peace.
Imagine your life free of blinding pain when you think about someone or something.
Can you? Do you want to? What would your life be without that pain?
This is a good place to start. :)
What is is that plagues you? What keeps you up at night? What robs your joy, your potential for happiness or even just peace? I would hope; nothing. But if there is something….
If there is something, do you know exactly what that something is? Can you name it? Often calling it what it really is can help you overcome it. Many of my clients come in saying they suffer from stress or anxiety, but these terms can be too general to fight. Digging down, identifying what is really the source of the stress or anxiety helps to corral it, shrink it down to a size to overcome it.
This fairy tale might help.
Fairy Tales, are by their nature; hypnotic….
When our imaginations are engaged in a well constructed story (as these tales often are), we escape the confines of our rational, logical world and we problem solve, even if we do not know that is what we are doing. Our deep subconscious minds engage emotionally and this can allow us organically with ease, break out of old thought patterns about certain things, or discover certain things....
The fairy tale I have in mind is the Bros. Grimm story of Rumpelstiltskin. A hypnotic fable if ever there was one.
It’s lesson speaks so much about the power of naming things. The power, once again of language. “Deeming” something. Deeming something is naming something. Now that’s not a commonly used word, granted: Deeming. But I’d like to ask you to think about that word for a moment and notice that this word is the root of the very powerful and more commonly used word: “Redemption”.
Deeming. Naming. Re-deeming. Re-naming.
Do you remember the story? If you haven't revisited it since childhood, you will find so much more in it than an odd little tale about a mean little man. You may even solve some problems of your own while entranced in the story…..
The Story of Rumpelstiltskin
Once upon a time there was a miller who was poor, but who had a beautiful daughter. Now it happened that he had to go and speak to the king, and in order to make himself appear important he said to him, "I have a daughter who can spin straw into gold."
The king said to the miller, "That is an art which pleases me well, if your daughter is as clever as you say, bring her to-morrow to my palace, and I will put her to the test."
And when the girl was brought to him he took her into a room which was quite full of straw, gave her a spinning-wheel and a reel, and said, "Now set to work, and if by to-morrow morning early you have not spun this straw into gold during the night, you must die."
Thereupon he himself locked up the room, and left her in it alone. So there sat the poor miller's daughter, and for the life of her could not tell what to do, she had no idea how straw could be spun into gold, and she grew more and more frightened, until at last she began to weep.
But all at once the door opened, and in came a little man, and said, "Good evening, mistress miller, why are you crying so?"
"Alas," answered the girl, "I have to spin straw into gold, and I do not know how to do it."
"What will you give me," said the little man, "if I do it for you?"
"My necklace," said the girl.
The little man took the necklace, seated himself in front of the wheel, and whirr, whirr, whirr, three turns, and the reel was full, then he put another on, and whirr, whirr, whirr, three times round, and the second was full too. And so it went on until the morning, when all the straw was spun, and all the reels were full of gold.
By daybreak the king was already there, and when he saw the gold he was astonished and delighted, but his heart became only more greedy. He had the miller's daughter taken into another room full of straw, which was much larger, and commanded her to spin that also in one night if she valued her life. The girl knew not how to help herself, and was crying, when the door opened again, and the little man appeared, and said, "What will you give me if I spin that straw into gold for you?"
"The ring on my finger," answered the girl.
The little man took the ring, again began to turn the wheel, and by morning had spun all the straw into glittering gold.
The king rejoiced beyond measure at the sight, but still he had not gold enough, and he had the miller's daughter taken into a still larger room full of straw, and said, "You must spin this, too, in the course of this night, but if you succeed, you shall be my wife."
Even if she be a miller's daughter, thought he, I could not find a richer wife in the whole world.
When the girl was alone the little man came again for the third time, and said, "What will you give me if I spin the straw for you this time also?"
"I have nothing left that I could give," answered the girl.
"Then promise me, if you should become queen, to give me your first child."
Who knows whether that will ever happen, thought the miller's daughter, and, not knowing how else to help herself in this strait, she promised the manikin what he wanted, and for that he once more spun the straw into gold.
And when the king came in the morning, and found all as he had wished, he took her in marriage, and the pretty miller's daughter became a queen.
A year after, she brought a beautiful child into the world, and she never gave a thought to the manikin. But suddenly he came into her room, and said, "Now give me what you promised."
The queen was horror-struck, and offered the manikin all the riches of the kingdom if he would leave her the child. But the manikin said, "No, something alive is dearer to me than all the treasures in the world."
Then the queen began to lament and cry, so that the manikin pitied her.
"I will give you three days, time," said he, "if by that time you find out my name, then shall you keep your child."
So the queen thought the whole night of all the names that she had ever heard, and she sent a messenger over the country to inquire, far and wide, for any other names that there might be. When the manikin came the next day, she began with Caspar, Melchior, Balthazar, and said all the names she knew, one after another, but to every one the little man said, "That is not my name."
On the second day she had inquiries made in the neighborhood as to the names of the people there, and she repeated to the manikin the most uncommon and curious. Perhaps your name is Shortribs, or Sheepshanks, or Laceleg, but he always answered, "That is not my name."
On the third day the messenger came back again, and said, "I have not been able to find a single new name, but as I came to a high mountain at the end of the forest, where the fox and the hare bid each other good night, there I saw a little house, and before the house a fire was burning, and round about the fire quite a ridiculous little man was jumping, he hopped upon one leg, and shouted -
'To-day I bake, to-morrow brew,
the next I'll have the young queen's child.
Ha, glad am I that no one knew
that Rumpelstiltskin I am styled.'"
You may imagine how glad the queen was when she heard the name. And when soon afterwards the little man came in, and asked, "Now, mistress queen, what is my name?"
At first she said, "Is your name Conrad?"
"Is your name Harry?"
"Well then…...Perhaps your name is Rumpelstiltskin?"
"The devil has told you that! The devil has told you that," cried the little man, and in his anger he plunged his right foot so deep into the earth that his whole leg went in, and then in rage he pulled at his left leg so hard with both hands that he tore himself in two.
What thing in your life is your Rumplestiltskin?